Just want to wish you all a Happy New Year! 2010 is going to be over soon and I thank God for a fruitful and great year. Been seeing breakthroughs and even the desires of my heart fulfilled. And even more traffic for my blog XD Of course there are some rough times but God is still good no matter what.

What am I expecting for 2011? A lot of stuffs provided if I’ll be able to stay and that’s my biggest hurdle at the moment but I know everything is going to be ok. Either way I’m going to love Jesus more and go from glory to glory.

And here are the top 10 posts of 2010! ( in no particular order)

1.) But God
2.) I'm not as good as
3.) Consolation Prize
4.) Sunday Night Reflections
5.) got to love twitting
6.) Psalm 100
7.) Trust God for who He is
8.) 2010 Dreams Moving Ahead
9.) Thinking too much- Unbelief
10.) The call to nazarite consecration by Lou Eagle
This is part of a journey in my current life that I would like to share and hopefully by the end you can celebrate the victory and breakthrough with me.

As you know a few posts ago I was babbling on about how I wasn't sure what my future would be.. IF God would be able to allow me stay, IF He would open the door for me seeing other people's door closed, IF I were to go home what was there for me to do? All these questions just keep hitting me and few weeks ago I decided to add the 'Popular posts' function for my blog and found out that my post on 'But God' was one of the popular post. I went in and have a read again and these sentences that I wrote hit me.

"The vision that God has given us is dead, speak life to it and I’ll breathe life to it, prophecy to it
Some of the visions and dreams that God had for me was dead, I didn’t believe in it because there wasn’t fruit or rather, its dead and once its dead its dead. However I began to speak life to it, prophecy the visions and dreams God has for me..."

I can't believe I wrote that at that time, and now it has encouraged me again after reading it. I have chosen to finally let go ,made the decision to not worry and not let it be a poison that would affect my relationship with God. If God's will is for me to stay.. He WILL make a way..... there's no way He can go back in His words. There's also this dimension of unbelief that I was having.. I had no faith... I was thinking God does not want to bless...God will this come to pass? I sit and think think think.. I think I think too much.

Heb 3:12 says See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God
I had no faith, had a heart of unbelief , a heart that was deceitful. I remember Bill Johnson once said unbelief is partnering with the devil. I've been feeding doubt by building cases, asking questions, that it has infected my life. But why must I think evil in my heart? Why do I say no when God says yes? yes to the dreams He has for me, Yes for a great plan for my life, Yes that He wants to partner with me in this...

Why not? His desire is to bless, but we must receive.. receive by faith. Believe and not doubt. Believe that you have received them. If you think you are going to be a failure you are, if you think you are going to be poor you are....As a man thinks in his heart (heart again.. see the connection?), so is he. Dr Cho talks about confessing a thousand times, what are you speaking?? That was why I shared on Sunday that declaring, confessing shifts not only the atmosphere but You! That is why I think Dr Cho is a spiritual giant and through his own breakthrough has opened the door for others... I remember confessing that I was going to get a job and I got it, I remember confessing that I'm going to see healings and miracles in my life and I saw it. If you don't ask and speak it, no matter how big God is, nothing is gonna happen.

The greatest thing I have now is my personal testimony with God. I can look back on what God did for me in the past, all these times His favor was on me, the times I made Him small, He showed himself strong, the times I thought all was lost, a miracle happened. Through my own experiences with God I remember His goodness, His provision and His faithfulness.

I'm not going to hang my head but raise my hand and sing of His goodness and faithfulness.

I might or might not get it but I've made the decision to know whatever it is.. God knows what's best.

Firstly sorry for the lack of update for the past week, I do however had many things to write on dreams, seasons and faith. Been too caught up with work and games that I don't have time to write it.

This is just a short entry to wish everyone and my readers a Merry Christmas!! You're ALL invited to come over to my house this Thursday for Christmas Dinner, Pm me if you would like to come, I won't be giving out my address to keep myself away from any stalker or any crazy fans of mine ;)

p.s- if you are overseas, fly over to the Gold Coast and I'll sort out accomodation for you =)


Update: Just wanted to share this by Perry Noble on Peace.. just a summary but you can get the whole thing from his podcast

  • “Peace is not something we work for or earn on our own – it is a gift given to us.”
  • “When you do not have peace you try to cope and manufacture it.”
  • "You cannot fix what is wrong on the inside by rearranging what is on the outside.”
  • “The real lack of peace is not because we don’t have enough stuff but rather because we don’t have the right relationships with God and others.”
  • “When we focus on fear we become a failure – when we focus on the Father it increases our faith.”
well its almost the end of 2010....
This year has been good, because God is good. Starcraft 2 came out, Black ops, got a PS3, Cheeky babe, saw a breakthrough in healings and miracles, seeing where God has taken me from the Jason of 09' to the Jason of 10' has been an amazing journey, the 40 day fast during the start of the year was worth it.

However my race has been put to a halt for the past week because I couldn't sense His presence, I'm not backslidden technically but I find it hard to connect in with God during my quiet time. lots of crazy stuffs been happening with other people, and I'm still unsure about my Visa. Should I study again? but if I got my PR studying would be so much cheaper. I've got no home, but here on the Gold Coast... I've never really fitted in back in Malaysia or Brunei (no offence, people are great but it just doesn't feel like home) I have a great destiny planted in this church and it'll all be a waste just leaving, I have so much to grow. End of 2005 God has called me to be in Australia and now I know the reason why, my heart burns for this nation, for the people and for the church.

This is no excuse though because I want to keep pressing in, keep going on till I see the breakthrough. Procrastination is a killer and I don't want to waste a day not just worshiping but praying too. I find that worshiping in itself is good but without prayer there's something missing really. Prayer is when you find yourself drawing near to God and that's where your secret history with God is made. I want to believe for a miracle, God owns the whole world, I'm sure its possible even though in my eyes it seems impossible.....

'Lord teach me to pray'

what are your dreams? Are you living life as if you weren't afraid of anything? What would your life look like if you were ten times more courageous?
I just read this from Dean Rush's site, one of the pastor from C3 Auckland, read it, loved it and would like to share what he wrote. deanrush.net

Get a fresh revelation of who you are in Christ

quote these scriptures of over your life, your job, your family, your future and you will never be the same!

1. 1 John 3:1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!

2. Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength

3. Romans 8: 31 If God is for us who can be against us

4. Psalm 139:13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made

5. 1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you

6. Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

7. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation: The old has gone, the new has come

8. 1 John 4: 4 greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world

9. 2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline

10. 1 John 5:4 for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith

I used to listen to this song a lot, and it still is one of my favorite Chinese song. I always wondered how it would sound like if you sang it in English and this cover just nails it! Listen when Rice sings the Mandarin part of it. This white guys chinese is better than mine -_- Too awesome not to watch/listen to! Lets hope they do a full chinese version
Few days to go till I fly back to the Gold Coast, its been fun having this break not looking forward to work but looking forward to see my Chicky Babe ;)

So I tried asking my company if they were willing to sponsor me for a PR and they told me they were not willing to (bummer) Good thing I received the news after doing my quiet time so I didn't feel discouraged. Did I feel disappointed? yes, but not to the point I would go to depression like before. I'll remember that disappointment is an opportunity for a miracle. Even if I don't see good, I don't feel good, I'll choose to remember good. I choose to remember how God has brought me so far for the past 4 years and His favor on me this year doing more than I could've imagined.

I'm really glad that I had this holiday to reflect more and try to finish books that I started earlier this year :p One thing God reminded me while I was on the bus few days ago was about me being a trailblazer. I always thought it was just about ministry but the sudden thought hit me, no one in church has applied for PR before, or some have applied but didn't get it and I just have this sense God is gonna use this situation that I'm going through to bring a breakthrough and be a testimony to others.

Is it normal to intercede and out of the blue you blurted out 'I wanna die now' while interceding? That was one interesting experience
A song i've been listening this week, that has really touched me. Amber Brooks a very anointed worship leader
Amber Brooks- like you promised.. the video won't show on facebook but its on my site.

(oh and I've pre-ordered the new Jesus Culture album- Come away which should arrive on my doorstep on Monday :) )

Stir these stagnant waters of my soul,
Merge me with Your river which springs life,
I don’t have all the right words to say
That will provoke You to want me
Anymore than you already do.

So won't You come,
Come like You promised
Pour out Your Spirit,
Pour out Your Spirit!

Overcome the darkness of my life,
Jesus be the strength of my life.
Reaching past my hiding,
Oh, reach out to my running,
Oh, Lord, come fill my soul with Your love!

You love like a Father!
You love like a brother!
You love like a Lion,
Fierce Like no other!
You violently chase me
Down, to embrace me.
Engulf me,
In who You are!
I have not done a blog on travelling before so here's my first ill attempt to blog about my visit to the country I grew up in for the first 17 years of my life and also to promote this little country
called Brunei. Not many people know about this little country, except probably for most middle eastern country because its a muslim nation and in the last few years more Asian countries are aware of Brunei because of this 'unxpected treasure' that was discovered. I wish it was me =( but this guy beat me to it, Wu Zhun got famous through his boyband and appearing in many popular Taiwanese teen idol drama. So whenever I tell someone from Taiwan or China I grew up in Brunei they would go 'oooo wu zhun!'

Yes, that's him

Brunei is only well known for its oil and gas, and the Sultan used to be the richest man in the world before Bill Gates. Anyhow we only pay $0.52 a litre of gas, there's no taxes, Bruneians are rich people (i'm not rich... Im Malaysian) and because of that there is a downside, the country doesn't get many toursits and even though its almost the same size as Singapore there aren't many things to do here. I miss the Theme park we used to have which has closed because it wasn't making any money. However there ARE a few things that are worth visiting like the 6 star Empire hotel which is worth staying and has worn awards for being the best Golf Resort in The Asia Pacific.

Funny enough I managed to do a bit of sight seeing myself. Brunei has the largest (I think) if not one of the largest water village in the world and to be honest, it was quite interesting and I actually enjoyed the ride on the speedboat on the river. I actually felt like a tourist, maybe because I've been away for years!!

People travel with their speed boats or taxi boats around Kampong Ayer (the water village)

This is the school
A mosque in the middle of the village

I wonder if the students in the school ever wonderd if one day the wood would rot,
turn weak and fall in the river in the middle of the class.
That is not to say people are not advanced in the village. Look! There's 3 Satellite dish in that house.
Kids swimming in the river, but the water's really dirty with people throwing garbage in the river =(

New villages,oh also there are A/C in the the village lol

... and even a Gas Station, so cool!

and also Police Station

This boat ride was like many other river cruise I've been on, but neverthless it was pretty exciting because it's different and theres this 'Brunei' Feel to it.

We got into deep in the forest, swamps and there's a chance you'll encounter snakes and crocodilesSo you got to hire a Ninja. kidding. That's my boatman
But we got to see LOTS of Proboscis Monkey!!! Which made this trip relaly worth it.
I can't believe I have 6 days left before I have to go back to reality and work. This short holiday has been good, managed to rest, relax and God speaking to me about my PR situation, now I got to have faith and noit worry so much about it and pray for a miracle.
Looks like Mario and Donkey Kong are ready to take over the world...... are you??
revival is here
Ps Lance was sharing about Leadership and the calling from God on Sunday and it reminded me what God spoke to me in the beginning of this year through Luke 1:29-38

God's favor was on Mary but it lead to pain, people ridiculed her and Joseph her husband wanted to leave her. Not only that but her son would be one that would be rejected and murdered. Mary had a great calling to give birth to the Son of the Most High that His kingdom will never end. I'm not sure how I got this during my quiet time but I wrote and highlighted 'A great calling comes with a great price'

That spoke to me for sure but the problem is I haven't really asked myself what the cost and price is. I know God has called me in the area of Leadership, there are times I really want to run away from it or not even go into it but there's something in my heart that wants to be in that position.
God has put greatness in us that is why we are longing for greatness, to be the head and not the tail, above and not beneath. Lance shared the leaders fail because when the time comes to pay the price, they fail... when it comes to perseverance, forgiveness, money or even servanthood are we willing to pay the price for it?

God doesn't look at our ability but our heart.

We may see that we are weak, we lack ability but God has said that His going to use the weak things of the world to same the strong. (1 Cor 1:27).

Lord I remember the promise you gave me to be a person of Destiny that will leave a Legacy. Mould me, Shape me , Use me, I'm willing to pay the price no matter what because it's worth it.

You have given to me
More than this world could give
My purpose is found in You
yay! A week to go and I'll be heading home to my hometown Brunei and Malaysia! I haven't been home in two years and I'm craving for all the local food , but before that I have to build and iron stomach because the last time I went back, I had a bad stomach for a few days which wasn't good. Another thing I'm looking forward to is shopping :) time to update my fashion and get new clothes, I'm interested to see how the young people dress now compared to two years ago, I'm pretty sure it has changed a lot in Malaysia.. not too sure about Brunei yet lol. Oh how could I not forget to meet up my awesome fans... I mean friends back home, you know who you are ;)

Rockstar Lee Is CoMinG HoMe!

These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold- and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is reavealed to the whole world. 1 Peter:7 NLT
Church was good on Sunday and God gave us a threat! Awesome! Besides that I don't celebrate Halloween but I was fascinated on the Pumpkins that were out there...check out some awesome ones



The Death Star

but....we there's also Twilight, Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga Pumpkins..... really??

Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child?
Tell me where will you run to where will you run?

'Cos I'll be by your side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands at my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in and give you life
I wanna give you life

'Cause I I love you I want you to know
That I yeah I love you I'll never let you go
No no

Last week was interesting, lots of things happened. Was a very challenging and tough week where I have to face so many things at once and got a bit frustrated at myself. Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing things right, sometimes I wonder if I make a small mistake would it have an effect on other people, I kind of understand now when my friend told me that you'll have to pour out a lot of sweat and tears to get the other person to move even just a bit. It's not easy but I can imagine the outcome when the person will one day be moulded and ready and everything was worth fighting for.

I think that's how God sees us as well, that we are nothing but a clay being shaped and moulded in His hand. God has been showing me to see in His lenses. We are all messed up, still growing and learning and its amazing really how God's love never fails, it can be so ever patient, disciplines you yet still loving. His teaching me to do the same for others, to see their destiny and not their history.

..... you make all things work together for my good

Fell in love with this song the moment I heard it.... loved it!




This is really inspiring, its amazing when you let the creator of the universe write your love story. :)

p.s- As usual this probably won't show up on FB as its directed linked from my blog so just click 'view original post' down the comment section and watch it.

Haven't heard of them?

This is what they're all about.. unlocking opportunities fro disadvantaged Australian children through education and learning.

I got approached by them once, asking to donate and support their organization, but thinking that Australia is such a well developed country there's no way that children can be disadvantaged and told them I rather use that donation for Compassion, another charity organization. oh boy, was I wrong, like any other countries there are disadvantaged families out there that has low income, or even maybe a single mum that has to work two jobs to support her children, even in the midst of economy downturn people become jobless and can't support their children. Therefore The Smith Family focuses on helping disadvantaged children get the most out of their education, so they can go on to make the best of their lives.

You can click on the link on the top right hand corner to have a look. Even though you might not want to donate or sponsor a child, it's still worth checking the site and their videos to see how this awesome organization is making a difference in the community.

OR for those who are looking for a volunteering job, now is your opportunity to volunteer and work for The Smith Family.

If you're Australian (or international) and has seen the need to help disadvantaged families....what are you waiting for?? Let's make a difference and do good for the community!

p.s- If you're reading this on facebook, please click 'view original post' (right at the comment section) and the link is right there on the website :)
This was written by Lou Engle, and thought of sharing it with you guys..this has been my heart, the inward burning for God.... be blessed

Summoning the Consecrated Ones If there is one word that describes the young godly ones in this generation, it is consecrated. This is the martyr spirit. As William Wallace said in Braveheart, “Every man dies. Not every man really lives.” They understand that to lose their life is to find it and they have crossed the line of commitment once and for all. Consecrated: to separate from the common to a sacred use; to be officially declared holy; to give one’s life completely to a particular purpose; to be devoted irrevocably to the worship of God.

The Nazirites arose in the darkest times of Israel’s history. God raised them up primarily as a youth counter cultural resistance to the spiritual decline of Gods people and a holy protest to the increasing domination of Baal worship over the hearts of those called to the jealous love of Yahweh. These firebrand extremists became the conscience of the land, rebuking apathy and indifference toward the worship of Yahweh. These young men and women became the hinge of history and the course of the nation turned upon them. When God wanted a new era, a new prophetic priesthood and turning back of a nation to God, He raised up Samuel, Samson, and John the Baptist, lifetime Nazirites. Nazirites! The word Nazir in Hebrew means ‘consecrated one; separated one; a person of the vow.’ The Nazirite had a desire, an aching, burning desire to be close to the Lord. Last night on a live web chat on Elijah Revolution.com, a young lady expressed how she feels a continual burning inside her, a burning hunger for God, That is the Nazirite burn. Jesus said of John the Baptist, a Nazirite from his birth, “he was a burning lamp and you enjoyed his light for a little while” (John 5:35). The true Nazirite is a burning man! A true Nazirite is a burning woman! Have you ever felt this inward burning for God? That burn is more holy than anything on earth. Treat it as holy, guard that fire. For that fire is God’s burning heart of jealous desire for you. “Or do you not think Scripture says without reason that he Spirit he has caused to live in us longs jealously for our devotion?” (James 4:5) Praise God the law of jealousy is moving in America and is creating extreme passion in a young generation to separate themselves from other lovers in a vow of purity and holy intimacy.

The Nazirite movement in the scripture was a counter cultural youth protest against the Baal worship of that day. Whenever great spiritual decline and evil began to take over in the land of Israel, these Nazirites would begin to appear in great numbers. These holy youth were God’s preservative for the nation of Israel. And they are God’s preservative in our nation today. During these days, is God calling you to some commitment of separation from the world? How about turning your TV off for 40 days. How about waking an hour earlier, to seek God and pray for revival? Do you love God more than sleep? How about drinking juice for 40 days, expressing your burning desire for God in fasting? Separate yourself from video games and Internet pornography.

May you burn for God more than you burn in lust for this world! O Nazirite generation arise! The Nazirite not only separated himself to God in a vow of holy devotion, but is seems that the vow had a definite kingdom purpose in mind as well. John the Baptists’ vow had to do with turning a whole generation back to the God of their fathers. God, I pray that across America you would raise up a counter cultural youth movement of extreme devotion to God to God to resist and stem the tide of evil in the land. Let Your jealousy be aroused again. Judge the idols of our hearts. Turn the nation back to You. Raise up the Nazirites!

I was inspired by this book by Lou Engle to live a life of consecration and to say Yes to the call of God.

425444: The Call of the Elijah Revolution: The Passion For Radical Change The Call of the Elijah Revolution: The Passion For Radical Change
By James W. Goll & Lou Engle

Authors James W. Goll and Lou Engle seek to inspire an entire generation--to exchange temporal pleasures for a radical and passionate leap into the spiritual joy of Jesus Christ. You will be propelled into joining the cries of other lovers of the Savior--"Is there not a cause in the land?" His answer is, "Yes!" Let "The Call of the Elijah Revolution" come forth--His people will overcome. 262 pages, softcover from Destiny Image.
Definition of Consolation Prize from yourdictionary.com- A prize given to a competitor who loses or does not win the first prize.

Just want to share a lil something I got from work two weeks ago. We are having our annual church and I was fighting very hard at work to try and get my leave approved, because the status has been unknown for a month. Cut the story short, I wanted to for camp so badly, I've never missed one and hearing the good stuffs we'll be getting made me want to go so much more.... but I got a 'I Declined your leave' that left me in tears. Next day at work I got couple of good tips + an email from one of the guest sent to the resort saying how I'm awesome, and the best...........kidding XD but the email was praising me of the work I've done for them and how I've been helpful and they appreciated it. I was like wow! A personal mail praising me! I know it might seem like a small thing to you guys but it was huge for me.... I've been dreaming to have one of those at work and I got it. I was thinking 'mmm... so I don't get to go to the camp but I was blessed at work today.. maybe its a consolation prize for me'

That's how I felt.

Then again I learnt the power of having people people around you believing for a miracle and breakthrough for you when you don't seem to have it. There was no effort for the need to strive and believe believe believe. I know sometimes people say 'You must have faith, you must have faith, you got no faith' and put pressure on the poor person who's already having anxiety to have more. However telling the person that you're believing for a miracle for them puts them at peace... they don't have to fight, they are in faith and they have rest and peace through the storms and that was how I felt. The awesome people around me had faith to believe for me and was praying for me. Don't get me wrong I was praying for it as well but there was no sense of anxiety or any hard effort. (I believe sometimes there are seasons we need to push in as well). Anxiety deflates the greatness of God.

The Last day of work before my weekend and three days before camp I got a call from my manager and asked if I still wanted the weekend off for camp. Apparently one of my colleagues wanted to work and asked my manager and so managed to cover the shift for me. Praise God! God owns everything, and managed to turn the situation around even though it seemed bleak, how cool was that?

Then it hit me. God does not give consolation prize. Those are for people who lose and do not win the first prize. In God's kingdom EVERYONE is a winner in His eyes, He wants the best for His children and His timing is perfect. God does not want to give consolation prize to mock us.... He wants us to keep going for Gold, even though sometimes we fail or feel like losers.

But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first. -Matt 19:30
my version of this would say '..... the loser will be the winners'

Its time for the season of harassment to stop..... thus far and no further... you will not steal my worship, my fire, my passion, my city, my nation, my dream...... Shut Up and Sit Down! I say no more, this ends today, I'm getting breakthrough each step of the way.

This thought always comes up and I don't like it. Whenever I hear a powerful testimony or hear what other people have achieved I tend to look at myself of what I've done or what I haven't seen and I start putting myself down with thoughts like 'man I can't go to where they're at, I feel like an ant compared to these giants' and just things that would bring me down. Yes, the aftermath of that is that I'll probably go insane, go depressed for awhile and lose focus. Worse, there comes the religious spirit that would go.... I have to do this, do that to get to where these guys are at out of stress and my lack of identiy in Him.

From my previous post I wrote that I complained a lot, and I should stop doing that. Made me realize how I was like the Israelties who saw God's goodness and power and yet still had unbelief, complained and got therefore wandered in the desert for 40 years. Made me realize part of me had unbelief therefore I started to complain and compare. not a good thing.

Problem here is simple, I lost focus on God and who He is. You know the famous verse 'Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit?' Both Might and Power are attributes of the Holy Spirit, its not the attributes but the person that has it, its not the signs, but what the signs points to. The works points to the person...... selah.

God has taught me to slow down and rest these few days. I have been running up and down, always busy BUT I've learnt to just rest and have peace. Not peace as in no wars, no conflict, no noise but a peace that focuses on the Presence of the Person, then you know that He has dominion over all the storms in your life. Bill Johnson said 'the place of rest is a place of strength' So soak in His presence and let God do what He needs to do... stop striving. Its ALL of Him or Nothing,

See you in church!
Not feeling the best in the past two weeks, been procrastinating in not applying for my PR when I should have. Stupid thoughts and lies just keep going through my head on what is to come. Little things that shouldn't really matter brought me down. Its one thing to be dreaming for something ,wanting to see it happen and another to get your hands dirty and start doing it. There's no one to be blamed but me. For not taking any responsiblity well, for not stepping up when I should have, for not having the right attitude and character. Seriously I'm so good in complaning that I don't do anything about it.

Jesus, I want to fall in love with you again, you are my breathe, my love my life. Forgive me for the times where I've ran around aimlessly doing my own things which doesn't even benefit and help. I need your strength, I need to rest in the shadow of your wings. Just need one touch from You, daddy. I want to be in that place of surrender again where I give you all my dream, every part of me.

I need a new set of 'tires' because mine is almost worn out :(
Found a song by accident, and the lyrics for this song reminds me so much of Jesus. I don't think Hayden is a christian, she's the awesome Claire that can't die in Heroes. Maybe the person who wrote the song was but nevertheless this song is what I was feeling a few days ago. Many doubts just started hitting me but it's so good to make the decision to just get in your bedroom and cry out and seek Him where I can find Him :)

You know I try to be
All that I can
But there's a part of me
I still don't understand

Why do I only see
What I don't have
When my reality
Its things are not that bad

Your faith has shown me that

When my world goes crazy
You won't let go
When the ground gets shaky
You give me hope
When I try to push you away
You never move, yeah

Now when I start doubting and
You help me see
There's a strength, and a mind, and a power in me
Oh believe me thereain't nothing I can't do
My hero is you, yeah
My hero is you

I never saw the way
You sacrificed
Who knew the price you paid
How can I make it right
I know I've gotta try

When my world goes crazy
You won't let go
When the ground gets shaky
You give me hope
When I try to push you away
You never move, yeah

Now when I start doubting and
You help me see
There's a strength, and a mind, and a power in me
You believe there ain't nothing I can't do
My hero is you, yeah
My hero is you

Been reflecting on what God has done in my life for the past few weeks (and months) and realised that I'm still a work at progress but have been grown from strength to strength and glory to glory. One prayer that I've been praying during the start of the year was to not just catch the revelation from heaven but to experience it. I don't want to just know it but able to live it and experience it out and Praise God, I've been experiencing the goodness and power of God!

This year has been a lot of challenges and ooo how prophecy can really mess your life up! (in a good way) John Jacks prophecied that God will bring challenges to me and to take that opportunity and respond to it. The challenges has come in all areas, at work, in my personal life and in ministry. Been focusing on my new life group Gen418a to focus on how to build it and make it healthy and grow, its mind blowing because I'm still inexperienced and sometimes think I'm incapable, but I want to trust God to use me and cause Gen418 to be one that can bring, faith, hope, love and a renewed passion and vision as people come in, they will experience the tangible love of God and get to know their destiny.

On a side note I want to say that I'm an ordinary man blessed by a extraordinary God. I thought I would have to wait for another 2 years but finally somehow my timing and God's timing is different and He has blessed me with a wonderful mate yay!!! :) I want to continue to grow in this new journey to serve, honor and protect....... ok wait.. stop that sounds like a slogan for the Policeman! urgh. How about being a man that she can trust that I'll always be God fearing, will always be faithful and make her feel that shes the most blessed person in the world ;)

People have asked what are my feelings? The first few times I didn't know how to answer them and gave an answer... I don't know cos I'm shy with my feelings hahaha but now I do after giving it some thought.

  • I'm nervous yet excited
  • I'm happy to get the approval and blessings from the leaders and knowing that we're not in this journey alone but there will be others joining the journey with us
  • It's weird how many people have seen this coming way last year even before I had any thoughts or feelings.
  • and lastly.... God is good :)

All of us has will eventually face a mountain or 'Goliath' in our lives.
And truthfully... the response when God reaveals what He wants to do in my life goes from 'yeah! Bring it On' to 'Oh cripes, what have I gotten myself into' when we really get our hands dirty into it.

We face fears.
David had to face Goliath
Moses had the fear of public speaking
Noah was asked to built an ark and he probably had no idea what it is.
The ten spies had fear when they saw giants in the land.

Bottom line is that God has never asked us to do anything that was easy, if it was then we wouldn't need Him and we must fight through Fear :) Perfect love drives out fear, I believe David had a love and passion for God and his people that he didn't had the fear to face Goliath.

If God has called you, He will equipped, sustain and empower you. Of course it might seem impossible but what is impossible with man is possible with God, that's why in Zech 4:6 it says its by God's spirit, not by our might or power. You may think you are a nobody, or an ordinary person who God wouldn't use. Think again~! God is in the business of using ordinary people to do extraordinary things!!

Acts 4:13
The members of the council were amazed when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, for they coyld see that they were ordinary men with no special training in the Scriptures. They also recognized them as men who had been with Jesus.
Be blessed =)
Read it, love it and got to repost it
Five Reasons Why People Quit The Ministry by Perry Noble

#1 – Burnout
I once heard someone say, “I would rather burn out than rust out.” Uh…BOTH are bad because NEITHER of them finish well. Too many people in the ministry work themselves into a frenzy, never take time to disconnect and refresh and do absolutely nothing for fun…this always goes bad!

When it comes to leadership circles in America we’ve equated being busy with being godly; however, the haunting reality that confronts that idea is what God Himself said in Psalm 46:10, “BE STILL and know that I am God”…not “be busy!”
If we are not taking regular breaks, doing things “just for fun” and disconnecting then burnout isn’t a matter of “if,” but “when!”

#2 – Unrealistic Expectations
Too many people believe that ministry = easy…despite the fact that it seemed to go really bad for everyone in the Scriptures that sold their life out to Him! Jesus went to the “place of the skull” to be crucified…why would we ever believe He would lead us to “the place of the mattress?”

When we impose our plans and ideas on God and refuse to surrender to His…and then things don’t go as planned…it usually leads to people “giving up” because “God just didn’t come through.”

#3 – Criticism
Criticism hurts…it always will…and if it ever doesn’t then, according to my counselor, something is dead inside of you. AND…it is always personal (especially when someone begins with, “don’t take this personally…but…).

You can’t let the critics dicate what you think/feel! If you have a ministry that constantly responds to critics then you will not have one that responds to Jesus. You MUST respond to the people who God has placed in your life to surround you and protect you–that’s not criticism but rather correction. However, you cannot allow those who know you the least to control you the most–period!

#4 – Discouragement
Every church leader I’ve ever chatted with has done some serious battles with discouragement. After your message on Sunday the enemy comes in and begins to accuse you, telling you that you did a pathetic job and that no one is going to come back next week. Heck, I’ve had to battle discouragement during the message before, hearing voices inside of my head saying things like, “you suck, these people hate you…you need to quite the ministry…” and so on.

This is why it is essential for leaders to get in a place like David did in I Samuel 30:1-6…he faced an incredibly discouraging situation and yet someone managed to find His strength in the Lord.
I do this through reading through encouraging letters and emails that I’ve received in the past, placing myself in encouraging environments and focusing on what God’s Word says about me.

#5 – Losing Focus On God’s Power
When we actually believe it is up to us to make people come back to church every week rather than believing we are conduits that God wants to work through to do that very thing…it’s over! Because…we fall into the trap of trying to outdo ourselves every week, every series and every year…and prayer/seeking the Lord becomes something we love to talk about but fail to do. He saves…He draws people…and He uses us to do it. It’s not up to us…but rather allowing Him to work through us to accomplish all that He wants to do!

Face it…on our own we don’t have enough power to blow our nose! We NEED Him…HE is the game changer!!!

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