Its time for the season of harassment to stop..... thus far and no further... you will not steal my worship, my fire, my passion, my city, my nation, my dream...... Shut Up and Sit Down! I say no more, this ends today, I'm getting breakthrough each step of the way.

This thought always comes up and I don't like it. Whenever I hear a powerful testimony or hear what other people have achieved I tend to look at myself of what I've done or what I haven't seen and I start putting myself down with thoughts like 'man I can't go to where they're at, I feel like an ant compared to these giants' and just things that would bring me down. Yes, the aftermath of that is that I'll probably go insane, go depressed for awhile and lose focus. Worse, there comes the religious spirit that would go.... I have to do this, do that to get to where these guys are at out of stress and my lack of identiy in Him.

From my previous post I wrote that I complained a lot, and I should stop doing that. Made me realize how I was like the Israelties who saw God's goodness and power and yet still had unbelief, complained and got therefore wandered in the desert for 40 years. Made me realize part of me had unbelief therefore I started to complain and compare. not a good thing.

Problem here is simple, I lost focus on God and who He is. You know the famous verse 'Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit?' Both Might and Power are attributes of the Holy Spirit, its not the attributes but the person that has it, its not the signs, but what the signs points to. The works points to the person...... selah.

God has taught me to slow down and rest these few days. I have been running up and down, always busy BUT I've learnt to just rest and have peace. Not peace as in no wars, no conflict, no noise but a peace that focuses on the Presence of the Person, then you know that He has dominion over all the storms in your life. Bill Johnson said 'the place of rest is a place of strength' So soak in His presence and let God do what He needs to do... stop striving. Its ALL of Him or Nothing,

See you in church!
Not feeling the best in the past two weeks, been procrastinating in not applying for my PR when I should have. Stupid thoughts and lies just keep going through my head on what is to come. Little things that shouldn't really matter brought me down. Its one thing to be dreaming for something ,wanting to see it happen and another to get your hands dirty and start doing it. There's no one to be blamed but me. For not taking any responsiblity well, for not stepping up when I should have, for not having the right attitude and character. Seriously I'm so good in complaning that I don't do anything about it.

Jesus, I want to fall in love with you again, you are my breathe, my love my life. Forgive me for the times where I've ran around aimlessly doing my own things which doesn't even benefit and help. I need your strength, I need to rest in the shadow of your wings. Just need one touch from You, daddy. I want to be in that place of surrender again where I give you all my dream, every part of me.

I need a new set of 'tires' because mine is almost worn out :(
Found a song by accident, and the lyrics for this song reminds me so much of Jesus. I don't think Hayden is a christian, she's the awesome Claire that can't die in Heroes. Maybe the person who wrote the song was but nevertheless this song is what I was feeling a few days ago. Many doubts just started hitting me but it's so good to make the decision to just get in your bedroom and cry out and seek Him where I can find Him :)


You know I try to be
All that I can
But there's a part of me
I still don't understand

Why do I only see
What I don't have
When my reality
Its things are not that bad

Your faith has shown me that

When my world goes crazy
You won't let go
When the ground gets shaky
You give me hope
When I try to push you away
You never move, yeah

Now when I start doubting and
You help me see
There's a strength, and a mind, and a power in me
Oh believe me thereain't nothing I can't do
My hero is you, yeah
My hero is you

I never saw the way
You sacrificed
Who knew the price you paid
How can I make it right
I know I've gotta try

When my world goes crazy
You won't let go
When the ground gets shaky
You give me hope
When I try to push you away
You never move, yeah

Now when I start doubting and
You help me see
There's a strength, and a mind, and a power in me
You believe there ain't nothing I can't do
My hero is you, yeah
My hero is you

Been reflecting on what God has done in my life for the past few weeks (and months) and realised that I'm still a work at progress but have been grown from strength to strength and glory to glory. One prayer that I've been praying during the start of the year was to not just catch the revelation from heaven but to experience it. I don't want to just know it but able to live it and experience it out and Praise God, I've been experiencing the goodness and power of God!

This year has been a lot of challenges and ooo how prophecy can really mess your life up! (in a good way) John Jacks prophecied that God will bring challenges to me and to take that opportunity and respond to it. The challenges has come in all areas, at work, in my personal life and in ministry. Been focusing on my new life group Gen418a to focus on how to build it and make it healthy and grow, its mind blowing because I'm still inexperienced and sometimes think I'm incapable, but I want to trust God to use me and cause Gen418 to be one that can bring, faith, hope, love and a renewed passion and vision as people come in, they will experience the tangible love of God and get to know their destiny.

On a side note I want to say that I'm an ordinary man blessed by a extraordinary God. I thought I would have to wait for another 2 years but finally somehow my timing and God's timing is different and He has blessed me with a wonderful mate yay!!! :) I want to continue to grow in this new journey to serve, honor and protect....... ok wait.. stop that sounds like a slogan for the Policeman! urgh. How about being a man that she can trust that I'll always be God fearing, will always be faithful and make her feel that shes the most blessed person in the world ;)

People have asked what are my feelings? The first few times I didn't know how to answer them and gave an answer... I don't know cos I'm shy with my feelings hahaha but now I do after giving it some thought.

  • I'm nervous yet excited
  • I'm happy to get the approval and blessings from the leaders and knowing that we're not in this journey alone but there will be others joining the journey with us
  • It's weird how many people have seen this coming way last year even before I had any thoughts or feelings.
  • and lastly.... God is good :)
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