As I'm sitting here waiting for Baby A to finish cooking and watching the Australian Open, I just realised I have not updated my blog for more than a week. A lot of crazy things has happened, got into a car accident, hoping for my application for Masters of Teaching to be successful (and it starts on the 24th!), preparation for Gen418 and our Uni/Youth service Infuse and a lot of disappointment and discouragement, but what makes a person a fighter and warrior is that they choose to pick themselves up when they are down and fight through the tough times, giving the sacrifice of praise even though there's pain in the offering.
I've been reading a lot of books on leadership in preparation for what is to come. God spoke to me clearly that 'He has called me to be a leader' in prayer meeting 2.5 years ago and I have been watching, learning and trying my best to live it out.
As I step into more of that role I realized there's a lot of costs. Investing in people's lives, and people who might criticise you can drain you emotionally. The attack can somehow makes you wonder if you're even worthy to be in that position. Another thing I found out was that the devil hates you a lot. As Ed Young said... A whole notha level, a whole notha devil.
I realised the intensity of the attacks on me has been so great and much for the past few months. Lies, temptations, questions have all got me, for the first time ever I felt as if poison darts has injected in my heart whenever I get these attacks. I can literally feel 'the fierty darts' from the enemy.
I realised there are personal things that are not wrong but have to give up in order to live a life of significance. God has speaking to me about pruning things off in my life that will hold me back or that will hinder God's involvement in my life.
There'll probably me more things that I will learn as I go on but at the end of the day I don't want to give up and throw the towel......
'Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up' Gal 6:9