Passion- Where is it

I remember people saying to me that they love my passion and zeal for God. How it inspires them and wants some of that passion for themselves. I'm always in passionate in my worship, prayer and everything I do for God.... However somewhere aorundthis year I have never been so down in my life, I have never experienced this in my 5 years as a christian. Like a marathon we give up once we are out of breath, or we feel that our legs can't move on anymore and we give up. I felt like giving up, felt like throwing in the towel and say 'okay I give up, I can't do this anymore'. The pressures of life, of people, money and the sense that everything is meaningless begins to set in. Where is my passion and purpose?

I believe that this statement I read from an article is true.. it says

People quit because they no longer believe in what they are doing.

I did not believe that I could make a difference

I did not believe that I could make an impact in an individual life

I did not believe that God loves me

I did not believe in my dreams

I did not believe in my destiny

I was drained and weary

...almost to the point where I decide to just drop everything and be a spectator or heck even change church for a season. (nothing against my church) just felt like running away

It took awhile, but thanks to God and my best friend and the most beautiful angel that God sent me (Baby Angela). She had to put up with all my complaints, pmsing and lack of passion, but with all her encouragement I managed to pull through. Seriously this girl is amazing.

God has been speaking to me about my mind, the thoughts that I think and along with the 'seasons' of my life. You see Jesus had to go through a season in his life where he had to be tested in the wilderness. Jesus was tested in His Identity and His Destiny (all these from Angela, see how amazing she is??) and resisting the temptation, the devil flees THEN the Holy Spirit came on him with Power. Are we utilising the Power of the HS in our life because the bible says the devil left Jesus until annother opportunity comes and when that time comes we have to overcome it with the power of the Holy Spirit.

We have seasons of spring time where there are dancing and singing with full of grace

or the summer season where we are tempted and needing to overcome like Jesus was in the wilderness

or the Autumn where we will begin to reap the fruits of what we sowed

or Winter season where we feel like losing our faith, and everything is just cold, even our hearts are cold.

No matter what season we are in. The key lies in the power of Praise, to praise God when you do not see it, to Praise God when you don't feel like it. why? because God is good and His love never fails even if we fail because when we are unfaithful, He is faithful. (2 Tim 2:13) He is our Hope, the anchor for our souls. That's just who He is. Know that God is out there holding YOU in His hands.

You can hope, you can rise, you can stand

He's still got the whole world in His hands-

33 Miles, Arms that Hold the Universe

I'm not good as....

This thought always comes up and I don't like it. Whenever I hear a powerful testimony or hear what other people have achieved I tend to look at myself of what I've done or what I haven't seen and I start putting myself down with thoughts like 'man I can't go to where they're at, I feel like an ant compared to these giants' and just things that would bring me down. Yes, the aftermath of that is that I'll probably go insane, go depressed for awhile and lose focus. Worse, there comes the religious spirit that would go.... I have to do this, do that to get to where these guys are at out of stress and my lack of identiy in Him.

From my previous post I wrote that I complained a lot, and I should stop doing that. Made me realize how I was like the Israelties who saw God's goodness and power and yet still had unbelief, complained and got therefore wandered in the desert for 40 years. Made me realize part of me had unbelief therefore I started to complain and compare. not a good thing.

Problem here is simple, I lost focus on God and who He is. You know the famous verse 'Not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit?' Both Might and Power are attributes of the Holy Spirit, its not the attributes but the person that has it, its not the signs, but what the signs points to. The works points to the person...... selah.

God has taught me to slow down and rest these few days. I have been running up and down, always busy BUT I've learnt to just rest and have peace. Not peace as in no wars, no conflict, no noise but a peace that focuses on the Presence of the Person, then you know that He has dominion over all the storms in your life. Bill Johnson said 'the place of rest is a place of strength' So soak in His presence and let God do what He needs to do... stop striving. Its ALL of Him or Nothing,

See you in church!

So far....

Been reflecting on what God has done in my life for the past few weeks (and months) and realised that I'm still a work at progress but have been grown from strength to strength and glory to glory. One prayer that I've been praying during the start of the year was to not just catch the revelation from heaven but to experience it. I don't want to just know it but able to live it and experience it out and Praise God, I've been experiencing the goodness and power of God!

This year has been a lot of challenges and ooo how prophecy can really mess your life up! (in a good way) John Jacks prophecied that God will bring challenges to me and to take that opportunity and respond to it. The challenges has come in all areas, at work, in my personal life and in ministry. Been focusing on my new life group Gen418a to focus on how to build it and make it healthy and grow, its mind blowing because I'm still inexperienced and sometimes think I'm incapable, but I want to trust God to use me and cause Gen418 to be one that can bring, faith, hope, love and a renewed passion and vision as people come in, they will experience the tangible love of God and get to know their destiny.

On a side note I want to say that I'm an ordinary man blessed by a extraordinary God. I thought I would have to wait for another 2 years but finally somehow my timing and God's timing is different and He has blessed me with a wonderful mate yay!!! :) I want to continue to grow in this new journey to serve, honor and protect....... ok wait.. stop that sounds like a slogan for the Policeman! urgh. How about being a man that she can trust that I'll always be God fearing, will always be faithful and make her feel that shes the most blessed person in the world ;)

People have asked what are my feelings? The first few times I didn't know how to answer them and gave an answer... I don't know cos I'm shy with my feelings hahaha but now I do after giving it some thought.

• I'm nervous yet excited
• I'm happy to get the approval and blessings from the leaders and knowing that we're not in this journey alone but there will be others joining the journey with us
• It's weird how many people have seen this coming way last year even before I had any thoughts or feelings.
• and lastly.... God is good :)

Sunday Night Reflections, 31-1-10

Got this idea from Perry Noble and will be trying to do this regulary every Sunday. Its good to do this and just remember and reflect on the day :)

• Had one amazing gem gave his life for Christ today, yay!! one soul saved!!
• Have learnt to take risks and just go for it, thank God if you missed the opportunity God will send someone else for He holds all things together.
• Dreaming of more souls saved from treasure hunting and friendship evax
• Antitode for Conceited is Humility
• Learnt that brokeness is the key to success as you go for God, you go for Gold and God hears our cry.
• have taken the step to be more transparent and real, and not pretend "I've got it all together"
• We get spiritual amnesia forgeting God's grace
• Promotion comes from God
• Best revelation? From the Bible
• I want God to break me to make me who He wants me to be
• I've learnt to not keep words to myself and just obey His voice and give it out.
• PACKING AND CLEANING THE HOUSE IS A PAIN!!!
• Carried 60+ bags at work today alone + furnitures from house? Ouch.
• God's doing a work in my heart on humility, always checking my heart
• It's end of January and when people comes back in February they'll be wondering if they were in the same church as few months ago ;)
• Heck ya!! great things are happening in Hope Gold Coast and there are more to come, never park on your success, move on for more!!

resurrected dream

Prayer meeting between me, Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit was so awesome today hahaha. As I was praying and visioning what God has for me, God reminded me about a dream I had before.....seeing Japan be won for Christ. I then said ok " I'll pray for missionaries to go in, church planters, etc. but then God was challenging me... telling me "that was all good but those aren't big enough" Immediately I knew what He meant and I couldn't pray , I was so afraid of praying 'that' particular prayer... was so afraid of being called to do what I will be praying for. In my heart I want to see it come to pass, Its a God-size dream, Its a dream thats in my heart but I wasn't willing to pay the price for it because I was looking at my own limited human limitations.

for a short moment.. I paused and then was reminded of the teachings from Jesus Culture, reminded of Revival, reminded that im not a failure, being like Caleb going 'give me that mountain' ,then supernatural courage came in and I started praying for revival, praying for God to use me, and literally I knew God was asking "are you willing to go?" and I responded just like Isaiah did "Here I am Send me, use me, mould me, break me, to be a vessel to bring revival to the nations" (oh man, what am I getting myself into XD )and man this is huge but I want to see Japan be turned into a Christian Nation.... crazy, I know.... Impossible... with man yes, but not with God. there are so many things I can say about this dream I have for the nation but thats saving it for another time.

The Point is this.... I was afraid of taking risk, I was afraid of praying that prayer, praying for that dream because somehow I had a thought 'I cant do this, how can God use me'. I've learnt (and its true) that many men forsake their dreams because they aren't willing to take risk , or fear they arent up to the challenge, or know the desires in their hearts are good. We men have become complacent, lazy, wheres the courage, where are the risk-takers? we don't fight for the desires in us.....

HOW??? Is the big question we would ask but thats God's deparment not ours, we are to respond with a willing heart and God can use your life empowered to shake cities, to release a cry of outpouring of His spirit on the nations. the question is not 'how' but 'are you willing? willing to fight for that Dream that God has placed in you?' Start to believe God for the impossible.

2009 >>>> 2010

Is it just me or did I now only realised its December!!! 2009 is ending soon and seriously time flies really fast this year especially when you start working.

Compared to 2008, 2009 was good... the first 3 months of 2009 was probably a struggle but thank God He helped me pull through and move ahead. I've definately gone to another level now ( played to many games hahaha.. ok lame.. hope u got the joke). This year I've gone deeper in my worship with God and my relationship with Him. Not only have I grown Spiritually but in my character as well, people have been commenting on how much I've grown Spiritually and in my leadership... im so encouraged! Praise God! I know my character still stinks but seeing the stinky Jason before and the stinky Jason now I don't stink as much :) There are of course bad times, storms that do come in and times where I've struggled but I know its not the time to give in, not the time to give up but to continue to move forward and look on whats ahead, trusting in His Grace.

alot of people has been asking me...'Jason!!!! do you have a girlfriend yet!!??' Hahaha no I haven't and I'm not planning to make that my goal next year either... and friends back home please don't call me Gay! eh guys I'm only 22 ok,still young, single and ready to mingle.... kiddin XD.seriously though I feel I still have a lot to grow in and things to focus other than that, besides I don't need one, I'm married to Ministry hahaha. The special someone is somewhere out there I know, I know in God's timing it will come to pass =)

I'm also excited that its not just me but EVERY single individual in church has risen this year and I can see how everyone has a role in God's kingdom and the impact they'll be making!

Really stoked on the upcoming 2010, with confidence I know that God IS going to do greater things in my life and the church. It isn't just me but many of us has said its a time of preparation now, getting in the word and build our wells so when the semester starts, I feel that the harvest is just going to come in and come in till we don't have time to prepare for ourselves because we'll be giving, teaching and disciplin :) aweeesoooomeeeee

"May the fire in you continue to burn, so bright and strong that it'll be infectious..."

Micah 7:8 Generation Light

Times and times devil you want to push me down

to steal my joy, my worship

my love for God

to rob me off my destiny

You tried to break my bones

damage my inner spirit and soul

and suck the life out of me.

You’re scared... very scared that I will rise up,

to lead a generation to their destiny

to plunder hell and populate heaven

Do not gloat over me, my enemy!

Though I have fallen, I will rise.

Though I sit in the darkness,the Lord will be my light

There is nothing my God cannot do,

Your love and power is indescribable

Your mercies are new everyday

Your love never fails

I delight in my weaknesses,

for then the Lord will be my strength

and your grace is sufficient for me

You are the strength when I am weak,

You’re the light in the dark

You’re my feet when I can’t move on

Your whisper brings life to my heart

You’re the author and perfector of my life
You who begun a good work in me shall see it come to completion

Use me to be your hands, to be your feet and your voice

To be a mover and shaker, one that can change destinies

Never again will I live a life of passivity

Do not gloat over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in the darkness
the Lord will be my light

I just want you Jesus :)

Jesus Culture.....

We are therefore Christ's ambassadors......

I got this revelation from God a week ago when this came up from a conversation with a friend, and from this revelation came with another awesome revelation. So what was it?

It's culture.... it's the way we speak, act and behave. Its taking a transition from our culture to Jesus Culture.
As a Malaysian one of our favorite quote is 'DIE LAHH' Whenever something bad happens our first reaction is 'DIE LAHHHH'
or when when someone offended us we go 'That person ahh.... He @#$# this and that....... you know what he say....&^%&^ I cannot tahan him you know'
or how about driving and parking?
'waaaa tat $%# took my car park!!!! *&^*&^ tat driver so lousy'
Well that's one of the few of malaysian culture..
Maybe for the Western culture is that they love being sarcasatic? (I'm guessing)

I think you get what I'm trying to say here. Point is... God was challening me that
If I'm representing Christ...
If I'm called to be salt and light and to make an influence of the world then there has to be a standard. That standard is not of the worlds but of God. We stand on our convictions knowing what we believe in. Standard of convictions, standard of truths all from the Bible. Even also not following what other Christians are doing, because not all the time what they're doing are beneficial... its not wrong but not beneficial. So God was challenging me to get into His word, know the truth, get the convictions in and defend it, because those are the foundations that will help build me up and help build others.

So when bad circumstances happens instead of going what us Malaysians would always do like 'Die lahhh, no chance' we bring in the Jesus Culture and go 'Its ok, God is in control.. I trust Him' Imagine what your friends would think with those two different reactions?? Because AT THAT MOMENT.... you can either influence or be the same as the world and not make a difference. Which is it going to be? Thats an opportunity right there.

Prayer Meeting was so awesome yesterday and God was just confirming it through what Pastor Lance was sharing... He was giving the same example like 'When someone badmouthes a person, then are you going to join in and go 'Yeah!! That person is like a cow, He cant do his work well ...etcetcetc' or you can go 'Mmmm I know his like that but I want to pray for him and believe he can change' WOW!!! Is that awesome or what? Lance was then sharing about being imitators of God.. in our speech, in our character... its just basically what God was sharing with me for the past week bringing Jesus Culture in!!

Man, I'm so convicted and challenged to live in a whole notha' level......

Jesus help me then to develop Godly Biblical standards in my life for your glory

Time heals nothing

Its one of those days where you get this LOL moments :)

Me: miss jacky, aou a u
Lamo: eye aim ou gay
Me: zomg, ou a gay! HAHAHA XD
Lamo: SHATAP!

HAHAHAHA

Here's something I read yesterday and would like to share with y'all

Time Heals Nothing

I know theres the old age cliché "Time heals all wounds" we are told to hang in there, put a smile, wait for time to anesthetize our pain. When we hurt, time only magnifies the pain. Days and weeks go by and agony hangs on. The hurt won't go away, no matter what the calendar says. Time may push the pain deeper into the mind, but one tiny memory can bring it to surface. Time heals nothing, God Heals!

Taken and praphrased from David Wilkerson- Have you felt like giving up lately

Which is so true... long story short, I shared yesterday at life group about the pain I had when people would ask me to shut up when I sing, or the rain would start pouring or worse.... practicing 1 hour before Church service and the Senior Pastors asks you to not sing but just open your mouth pretending you're singing? wow. (no not the church in Aus but back in Msia =P) Now that really stuck a dagger to your heart especially when you're called to be a Worship Leader, when you love singing, Praisin n worshppin God and doubts begin to creep in, holes are open for the devil to come in and put more lies, and make you think you're unworthy. But I really Thank God that I've managed to surrender my pain to Him, to cast my burdens on the cross and knowing that everything will be ok because someone has taken my burdens. Now whenever ppl tell me that I sing off tune, or I suck at it, I'm ok with it, no more dagger to the heart because God has healed me and I know that one day I can overcome this area of fear of failure in singing and turn it to a wonderful testimony =)

Breakthrough

I knew I was going to get a breakthrough this week, but I was hoping for something like a new job but little did I know that breakthrough was about my my Spiritual Life.

The past three days were crappy, I was moody, partly because I was tired and sick of not getting a job despite me going everywhere and applying. I was angry with God, asking why did I have to suffer during those 3 days and where are my favor and blessings? Where was the Harvest he promised? Where was the job and so on.... It's as if His hedge and hands over me was gone. Did i suffer because of my sin or unavoidable disaster (God/satan?)

Yesterday's quiet time was one of the best quiet time I had for awhile and God prompted me to read Job. I did... and God opened my eyes and made me realized how selfish and how blinded I was. If I didn't get what I want, I would blame God, and think that God 'disowned' me. Job's faith in God really inspired me after losing 7000 sheeps, his family and his livestocks. First reaction I would get was to blame God and ask why!!! But Job, first reaction was to fell down to worship and said

"I came naked from my mother’s womb, and I will be naked when I leave. The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!”

and on the next verse it said

In all of this, Job did not sin by blaming God

Wow I've been blaming God all this time and made me realized one thing.... My faith was based on rewards and prosperity, that is hollow. If those were taken away would I still worship God or would I blame Him and walk away? To be unshakable, faith must be built on the confidence that God's ultimate purpose will come to pass.

I told God..... no job, its ok, no blessings, its ok, I know theres plenty in the storehouse waiting to be open in your timing. I'll wait patiently and although I have nothing now... yet I will praise thee.

You are Good

There are times when waiting can seem forever but Lord....
You are Good
There are times when I see no fruits but Lord....
You are Good
The disappoinments I have....
You turn it to opportunities....
You are Good
Times I cry out for the harvest and I see none.... but Lord...
You are Good
Times I have fallen away from you, rejected you, despised you, yet you call me back as your own....
You are Good
Troubled times..... darkness comes.. waves comes crashing in.... only You I can turn to
You shelter me from harm, to find refuge in the shadows of your wings
You are Good
Indescribable...
You are Good
You promises are true, Your Grace is sufficient
You are Good
I'm not good with words, but I do know one thing Lord
You are Good :)

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. 2 Peter 3:8-9

I trust you in your unfailing love and your goodness, I will sing praises and lift a song from my heart to you ....I BELIEVE