For years I have dreamed of becoming a leader in the church, to do great things for God and extend his Kingdom. Last year the pastors in my church approached and asked me if I was willing to take the next step and be a leader.
I took the offer but little did I know I actually had second thoughts of becoming a leader in the church. I had a lot of flaws and saw myself as incapable of leading other people. I do not love people wholeheartedly, I really dislike doing administration and planning for the church or life group, comparing myself to other leaders I feel that I am so far behind. I feel like dropping everything and just go back to being a regular member serving in the church.
I don't know, the feeling is weird because I did not have this kind of feeling before I became a leader, I was more passionate, had plannings for the group/church and dreaming with God but now it seems that I just don't want anything to do with this even though I know the calling God has for me. I think it's lack of confidence and all the negative thoughts that just get in my head.
Those are just my ramblings but if anyone who knows anything about being in leadership or has anything experience please feel free to share, your comments will be greatly appreciated :)