This is part of a journey in my current life that I would like to share and hopefully by the end you can celebrate the victory and breakthrough with me.
As you know a few posts ago I was babbling on about how I wasn't sure what my future would be.. IF God would be able to allow me stay, IF He would open the door for me seeing other people's door closed, IF I were to go home what was there for me to do? All these questions just keep hitting me and few weeks ago I decided to add the 'Popular posts' function for my blog and found out that my post on 'But God' was one of the popular post. I went in and have a read again and these sentences that I wrote hit me.
"The vision that God has given us is dead, speak life to it and I’ll breathe life to it, prophecy to it
Some of the visions and dreams that God had for me was dead, I didn’t believe in it because there wasn’t fruit or rather, its dead and once its dead its dead. However I began to speak life to it, prophecy the visions and dreams God has for me..."
I can't believe I wrote that at that time, and now it has encouraged me again after reading it. I have chosen to finally let go ,made the decision to not worry and not let it be a poison that would affect my relationship with God. If God's will is for me to stay.. He WILL make a way..... there's no way He can go back in His words. There's also this dimension of unbelief that I was having.. I had no faith... I was thinking God does not want to bless...God will this come to pass? I sit and think think think.. I think I think too much.
Heb 3:12 says See to it, brothers, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God
I had no faith, had a heart of unbelief , a heart that was deceitful. I remember Bill Johnson once said unbelief is partnering with the devil. I've been feeding doubt by building cases, asking questions, that it has infected my life. But why must I think evil in my heart? Why do I say no when God says yes? yes to the dreams He has for me, Yes for a great plan for my life, Yes that He wants to partner with me in this...
Why not? His desire is to bless, but we must receive.. receive by faith. Believe and not doubt. Believe that you have received them. If you think you are going to be a failure you are, if you think you are going to be poor you are....As a man thinks in his heart (heart again.. see the connection?), so is he. Dr Cho talks about confessing a thousand times, what are you speaking?? That was why I shared on Sunday that declaring, confessing shifts not only the atmosphere but You! That is why I think Dr Cho is a spiritual giant and through his own breakthrough has opened the door for others... I remember confessing that I was going to get a job and I got it, I remember confessing that I'm going to see healings and miracles in my life and I saw it. If you don't ask and speak it, no matter how big God is, nothing is gonna happen.
The greatest thing I have now is my personal testimony with God. I can look back on what God did for me in the past, all these times His favor was on me, the times I made Him small, He showed himself strong, the times I thought all was lost, a miracle happened. Through my own experiences with God I remember His goodness, His provision and His faithfulness.
I'm not going to hang my head but raise my hand and sing of His goodness and faithfulness.
I might or might not get it but I've made the decision to know whatever it is.. God knows what's best.
Just want to wish you all a Happy New Year! 2010 is going to be over soon and I thank God for a fruitful and great year. Been seeing breakthroughs and even the desires of my heart fulfilled. 
